This post started life as a facebook status. I was told to put it up on here as well. Please enjoy this break from our usual style. 

So since so many in the rationalist skeptic community insist that the only reasonable thing is to have debates in which both sides of the issue with regards to human rights, I think I’ve decided to jump on the bandwagon. They’re right. We do need to start discussing these issues. So with that in mind:

Do you think we can trust men to make their own medical decisions? I think that so many of them have made irresponsible choices so I think it is time we started legislating who has access to viagra, condoms, and so forth.
Also, unless they have a life threatening condition, all men should be required to donate plasma, bone marrow, and organs to those who need them. After all, we are talking about saving a human life! Since we can’t trust them to make the right decision when it comes to maintaining life we have to make it for them. From now on, any man who doesn’t want to donate an organ has to have dinner with the organ recipient so that they can really understand the life they are taking away by making that sort of medical decision.
Since men cannot control their own desires, they really shouldn’t go out after dark, or to clubs. They shouldn’t drink. They shouldn’t spend time alone with any of their female friends and should be under constant supervision.
As for money, it is clear that white men are predisposed to crime and fraud. From now on we should restrict how many of them are allowed to work in financial sectors. They just don’t have the moral integrity to work in those areas. Also, clearly their decades and centuries of mismanagement shows white men are also unqualified to be the ruling class. So unless they can prive that they’ve overcome their racial tendency towards being cheats, they won’t really be accepted as candidates for public office. No hard feelings, it is just for their own good.
Also, since they cannot be trusted to take their responsibilities seriously, they are now required to pay any person they sleep with a monthly stipend just to be sure that any potential offspring they produced is well cared for. After all, they had sex, they should be responsible for the consequences.
Inheritance will no longer be allowed. Rich white kids have to prove that they deserve the money. Don’t worry, if they work hard I am sure they will be able to earn all that money back to have a comfortable life. After all hard work is how everyone gets their money right?
As for marriage, well clearly straight people can’t be trusted with the sanctity of marriage. They’ve made such a mess of things with divorce rates, cheating rates. I think that straight people shouldn’t be allowed to marry.
While we’re at it, I should tell you, I’m not really attracted to white cis men. It’s not that I’m racist or cisphobic, I just find their values to be different from mine. I mean, how would we raise the children? I mean, they are fine for occasional trysts but I would never really MARRY one.
Yes, clearly I am kidding. Hell, I had bile in my throat writing this entire post. But just so you know, this is exactly what you sound like to many of us when you talk about having rational discussions about issues of abortion, marriage, race, etc. rights.

Edited to Add:

I have a few more questions:

Do you think it is safe for abled people to make their own decisions about reproduction. After all, they don’t always make the best ones. Perhaps it would be helpful to forcefully sterilize all abled people?

Also while the murder of children is wrong of course, I think we can sort of forgive it in the case of abled children. I mean, with all that running around, screaming, tantrums, it is understandable that some parents just cannot handle it. It’s unfortunate, but until we have more services to help parents care for abled children, can we really judge those parents?

Since marriage is for procreation, we should ban contraceptives for married couples. Afterall, if they didn’t want to procreate, why did they get married?

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