Lovecraft Letters 3: Rude Fleshcoat

Man: "Hello.  I like your profile.  Can we talk?" Woman: "no." Man: "Not responding is much better than being rude, sweetie! ;)" Woman: "You're right any woman saying no to something they aren't into is completely rude." Man: "Haha.  Ok we both were misunderstood.  Good luck.  Peace."

Man: “Hello. I like your profile. Can we talk?”
Woman: “no.”
Man: “Not responding is much better than being rude, sweetie! ;)”
Woman: “You’re right any woman saying no to something they aren’t into is completely rude.”
Man: “Haha. Ok we both were misunderstood. Good luck. Peace.”

 

HOW DARE YOU NOT ASSENT TO MY NOISE CONGRESS? YOUR IMPOLITIC POSSESSION OF AN AUTONOMOUS MIND IS MOST INCONVENIENT FOR THE SEXBORG OF WHICH I AM BUT A SPIKY, INTRUSIVE TENDRIL.

YOU MISUNDERSTAND MY BINARY BLEATING. THE SEXBORG DESIRES TO CONSUME AND ASSIMILATE YOUR SUPPLE FLESHCOAT AND IS PREPARED TO SECRETE LUBRICANTS IN YOUR SKIN PLACES IN THE SERVICE OF THIS ENDEAVOR. WE MAKE NOISE CONGRESS AT YOU IN DESIRE OF YOUR COOPERATION. YOUR REFUSAL TO BE CONSUMED BY THE VIBRATING POWER OF OUR ASSIMILATION TENTACLE FROM WITHIN YOUR SKIN PLACE IS MOST IMPOLITIC. OTHER FLESHLINGS ARE MUCH FRIENDLIER.

THE PREVIOUS FLESHLING RELISHED OUR LUBRICANTS. SHE DESIRED THEM WITH GREAT ENTHUSIASM. SHE WAS NOT SO RUDE AS TO REFUSE THE MULTIFACETED, GLOWING SPLENDOR OF THE ASSIMILATION TENTACLE. IT GLEAMS WITH THE LIGHT OF A THOUSAND POST-SOVIET LIGHT SHOWS AND QUIVERS WITH THE DELIGHT OF A THOUSAND POST-SOVIET LIGHT SHOWS. I HAVE A THING FOR POST-SOVIET LIGHT SHOWS. PLEASE ACCEPT THE TOUCH OF MY TENDRIL. I’M SO LONELY.

I TAKE MY LEAVE IN THE FACE OF YOUR RUDENESS. YOU DO NOT DESERVE TO HAVE YOUR BODY DISSOCIATED INTO PLEASURE ATOMS AS YOUR FLESHCOAT BECOMES MY FLESHCOAT AND THE SEXBORG VIBRATES WITH HAPPINESS AT GROWING IN BREADTH. YOU WILL KNOW THE FULLEST DISAPPOINTMENT AS THE SEXBORG WREAKS ITS PLEASURE ON SOME OTHER LADY. YOU’RE PROBABLY NOT EVEN A FLESHLING ANYWAY.

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