Lovecraft Letters

A member of the great race of Yith, with a conical body from whose apex issue two claws, a megaphone-like apparatus, and a tentacle-laden head.

Віщун [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

Men. What are they even? So many of them are so, SO bad at sending OkCupid and similar missives that one wonders if they aren’t any of various Lovecraftian monsters pretending at typewritten humanity in order to seduce lovely victims.

In this ongoing project, I take examples of dating-profile ridiculousness and weave it into the all-caps messages such eldritch abominations might send.

1. The Attractive Disaster of Your Eyes

2. Boiling Faun

3. Rude Fleshcoat

4: The Orb

5: To Bring Shame To Your Fathers

6: A Wave of Murderous Sex

7: Very Oral, So Oral