cats

Lovecraft Letters 2: Boiling Faun

fawn boiling

“Hey man my pussy commander! I’m feeling frisky! Send me a f#ckbuddy request so we can h00kup!! My nickname is Fawn1980 :-} My account is here.”

THE BOILING FAUN, LORD OF THE HELLSPRINGS AND FLOUTIST OF THE SEVEN VAPORS, IMPORTUNES YOU, MORTAL.  MY STEAMING GUN SHOW SHOULD BE ALL OF THE CREDENTIALS I REQUIRE.  CAST THY GAZE UPON MY STEAMING BICEPS, AND SEE THAT THEY ARE FRISKY.  MY TEMPERATURE IS ALMOST CERTAINLY LETHAL TO CREATURES OF SUCH UNWORTHY ENSOULMENT.  LEAD INGOTS TURN TO POISONOUS VAPOR IN MY HANDS, DIAMOND BURSTS INTO FLAMES, AND HOT POCKETS TURN INTO SOGGY MASSES OF FIERY CHEESE.  LOOK, I’M THE BOILING FAUN, OKAY?  IT’S NOT A DRY HEAT.

 

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